My 3-Year-Old Got Kicked Out of Summer Camp

My 3-year-old got kicked out of summer camp for pooping on his teacher.

I wish I was kidding.

I mean…I AM kidding. But only sort of.

He DID lose his place in summer camp, and he DID poop on his teacher, but it wasn’t as dramatic as that sounds. As my dad says, though, “if it’s not worth exaggerating, it’s not worth telling!”

Let’s rewind for a second. How did we get to this dramatic moment that turned my summer on its head?

I’m so glad you asked.

I potty trained my first child at exactly 27 months because I read in a book that the prime time to potty train is between 27-32 months. I was ON IT. I followed Potty Training in 3 Days to a tee with massive success. It took him 3 days to figure out #1…and 6 months to figure out #2, but he figured it out enough that he only did the latter during nap in his pull up during those 6 months. No prob.

I potty trained my second child twice. First at 23-24 months because she wanted to, but it wasn’t quite clicking. It took maybe a month or two for her to get the hang of it. (A month or two of cleaning up accidents is a LONG TIME.) Alas, even though she finally-mostly got the hang of it, we were going on our big month-long road trip from Alaska to Florida, so I made the executive decision to put her in a pull up for the trip. She regressed pretty quickly, but I was very happy that we didn’t have to deal with pee in the car. We re-trained her when she was about to turn 3 and it was easy-peasy-lemon-squeazy.

Then there’s baby #3. I really had no interest in potty training again, so I put it off until around his 3rd birthday, which was the age at which my type-B friends said their kids had “potty trained themselves.” SIGN ME UP. MAMA’S TIRED.

Well, his 3rd birthday came and went, and while he was definitely interested in going in the potty just like his big bro, it was more of a party trick than a consistent desire. With only a month before summer camp to go (knowing he had to be potty trained to attend), we decided to buckle down and make it happen.

Except 3rd children don’t give a flying flip about following the rules.

I have never cleaned so many accidents in my LIFE. If he had a pull up on, he wasn’t learning anything. If he had underwear on, he…also wasn’t learning anything? At least that’s what it felt like.

By the time camp was starting, he’d finally become 70% proficient at #1 (if we reminded him), and only 20% proficient at #2.

But your girl was desperate. I have a job, people! I needed him to go to camp, what can I say?

Day 1…a pee accident. Not great, but could’ve been worse.

Day 2…no accidents!! Is this going to work out??

Day 3…he pooped AS his teacher was pulling his pants off following a pee accident.

So that was that.

(Side note: His summer camp teacher/director are goddesses and exceedingly kind. “Kicked out” is just a fun and dramatic way of saying that they obviously couldn’t change their entire program for one poopy kid.)

This summer was not at all as I’d imagined. Luckily, my boss is a literal psychologist and is therefore incredibly understanding about the plight of working parents with childcare issues. We reduced my hours by half so that I could make it through the summer, and I went back to having a child with me 24/7.

While the 24/7 shift was something I’d been very accustomed to until October of last year, when my youngest started part time daycare, I quickly became VERY enthralled with the experience of being able to hear myself think after 6 straight years of having at least one child causing chaos next to me at all times. Going back was not high on my list of enjoyable activities.

(I LOVE MY KIDS. What a dumb disclaimer. But with the propensity of “enjoy it while they’re young” and “why did you have kids then” keyboard warriors to fire up their feisty lil’ fingers at the first sign of a mom who openly states that she has interests outside of scrubbing pee out of the carpet, I just feel better putting it in writing that I’m HIGHLY obsessed with my children, and I enjoy the feeling of using a fully-functioning brain. Both/and! Imagine that!)

So why, exactly, am I telling you my potty training woes? It’s not to vent, I promise.

I want to offer up this reminder that has slapped me square in the face this summer:
Having kids is an ever-present reminder that we can only control ourselves. While I’m not woo-woo enough to try and convince you that that’s a particularly fun fact, I will say that I’m grateful for the way my child’s poop has forced me to slow down this summer.

We had mother-son playdates to the waterpark. He joined me grocery shopping, learned to wrestle our puppy as if he, too, is a dog, and almost turned himself into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by sheer exposure. I feel more creatively juiced up after a light summer of work, ready to dive back into my regular schedule with energy and rejuvenation.

Mostly, I’m grateful that a loosey-goosey schedule allowed me to remember that the world goes on even when I’m not showing up at full capacity. My kids always come first, but even as someone whose whole mission is to encourage people to build margin into their homes and lives, I can still let the hurried pace of the western world propel me into a state over over-productivity.

This summer, I was forced into more leisure than I’m used to, but it was infused with the purpose of unbridled focus on my adorable-maddening-destructive-hilarious 3-year-old. I really can’t be mad about that! (Tired, yes. Mad, no.)

If you’re hoping for a happy ending to the potty training tale, I hate to disappoint you. Two months home with me, and he still poops his pants.

We’ll get there someday. I’ll let you know in 11 years when he’s entering high school if I’m still reminding him to tell me if he needs to go potty. Stay tuned!