The Dangerous Trap of Treating Advice as All-or-Nothing

A recent podcast I did called “Minimalism Hot Takes” calls out certain rules or opinions I often hear in the minimalist/decluttering world that I don’t particularly agree with.

One of those hot takes was that I actually think Marie Kondo’s sparking joy is a great framework for decluttering! As we see when almost anything becomes popular, suddenly it gets a bunch of criticism. But usually there’s a reason something is popular, and in the case of sparking joy, I happen to think it’s a really fun way to declutter. 

This doesn’t mean I can’t see why some people say her process is too overwhelming, but that’s actually what I want to talk about in this blog post:

When did we collectively lose the ability to extract what works for us from advice we hear, and leave the rest? 

I think it’s dangerous to view all ideas as all-or-nothing.

Take, for example, the book I’m currently listening to called “Infectious Generosity.” I’m absolutely loving how the author helps redefine the meaning of “generous” and talks about how we often care more about a giver’s intent than the real results of their generosity – even if that generosity served the giver in some way. Who cares?? It still resulted in something helpful for others!

Anyway, I love the book…AND I completely disagree with the way he presents religion in it. I don’t mind reading books by atheists, just like I hope an atheist wouldn’t mind reading a book by me (a Christian). However, I think there are ways to present opinions or beliefs with the acknowledgment that we don’t have all the answers. To say you don’t believe in God is just as much a statement of faith as saying you believe in God - because neither one can be proven.

However, I have the personal agency to extract from the book the ideas that are profound and motivational to me, without throwing the baby out with the bathwater just because I don’t like this one piece of his presentation. I can like the book and learn from his ideas without agreeing with every last thing he writes.

All of us can do this! In fact - all of us should do this!

This is how we avoid taking everything we see online personally. This is how we stop being critical of people who are slightly different from us. This is how we learn and grow through ideas that challenge us. 

If we only consume information or content that 100% applies to us, we’re asking to live in an echochamber of comfortable ideas, completely disengaged from diversity of thought and experience. There’s no growth, no empathy, no curiosity.

So let’s rediscover nuance and the ability to filter advice for our own lives. What a freeing, less offended way to move through the world!

(This lesson actually applies perfectly to last week’s episode called “Is Celebrity Self-Help Advice Useful?” - find that HERE!)