What's Your Kryptonite? — The Expert Beginner

Hello strangers! I haven’t written since April!

School’s out, which means parents get a pass. FOR EVERYTHING.

Anders was only in pre-k until 10:45am each morning last year, but even those few hours without all 3 kids was a #blessing. I’ve been in the trenches since May 25th. I love my children— duh— but…well, I don’t need to explain myself. You get it. And if you don’t, that’s okay. Thanks for being here and reading a blog by a 35-year-old mom who has little to say outside of the parenting space, considering these little kid years EAT the brains of parents.

Today, Anders has his bestie over for 3 hours, which may sound like more work, but nope. I’d so much rather have 4 children in my house, one of which isn’t mine, because then it’s novel and exciting, meaning the kids distract themselves and— as long as I don’t sit down (because that’s a guaranteed detonator for fights/needs)—I’m weirdly free! So I’m standing typing this at the kitchen counter! Look at me!

The problem with blogging since I moved to Florida is that I don’t feel like I have tons to say. Given that I don’t have near as much childcare help here as I did in Alaska, I don’t have the space to think as deeply or be as creative. Which probably explains why it’s been one of the hardest years of my life. I’m hoping there will be a shift this fall when Anders starts kindergarten and Jo/Warren will be in school 3 mornings a week for a few hours.

I’m working now, too, which means any second I have “free” is spent trying to get my hours in…which I could be doing right now, but let’s be honest…I’m still typing this in 2 minute increments because the kids need toast or Jo just threw a block at Anders’ head, so I’m not fully concentrating. BUT I think I’ll be able to get most of my hours in while the littles are in school, so maybe nap-times I can begin to develop “me” again here in a month or so!

You know what’s been a true light during this relatively dark/difficult time in my life? A PUPPY!

You might think that a little pupperoni isn’t the most brilliant solution for a mom who feels extremely overwhelmed, but you’d be WRONG. I had plenty of people say “Why in the world would you want two dogs?!”

I’ll tell you why: Of all the things I find challenging in life, a puppy just isn’t one of them. Cleaning up accidents in the house is a minor pain, sure, but overall, I have a fluffy, loving little creature who doesn’t ask for toast and then complain when I make said toast. And who comes when I say “come” after only 3 days of training (been trying to train my human kids to do that for YEARS). Chai, our mini golden doodle puppy, is my stress relieving ball of cute, and I have no regrets.

You may be thinking, “But what about Noma?” Listen, Noma is a 6-year-old middle-aged woman. I still cuddle her whenever possible, but she likes her space. I get it. Especially since she never feels fully secure with 3 small children running around. She prefers laying on her bed in my room where they can’t get to her. I would honestly like to take the same approach but then it’d be my fault if one of them stuck their finger in a socket or did a back flip off the couch.

Here’s what I’m trying to say: Not everything is hard in the same way for all people. Some people would be (and are!) perfectly happy (or at least somewhat mentally stable) at home with kids all day while living in the state of Florida. I, however, feel like death in Florida and really struggle at home with the kids. AND some people would find adding a puppy to the mix a challenge, meanwhile I find it easy breezy beautiful.

It serves as a great reminder that we all process experiences differently! I’ll be okay. I’ll keep trying different things to better my little life while we live here for 2 more years. Like getting a puppy. Or starting therapy (which I also did!). And if someone tells me a puppy is hard work or stressful, I will absolutely believe them. Because beaches/warmth/small kids are my kryptonite. So a puppy can be someone else’s.

Sending everyone love, and I hope my next post will be in fewer than 3 months!