Someone Stole My Unborn Baby's Diaper Bag
Last night, our car was broken into. About a month ago, Aaron and I bought our first family vehicle-- a brand new 2018 Toyota 4 Runner. We felt very Adult, capital A. This car would take us on family road trips, have cheerios stuck in the seat cracks, play Kidz Bop from the speakers, and hold baseball and ballet bags in the cargo area. It also has heated seats for Mom (omg that's me), and plenty of space for Dad's shopping sprees at Lowe's.
And the car isn't the only thing that has made us giddy about our future. Besides some pretty ridiculous back pain (Did you know back labor is a thing? And that you can get Braxton Hicks (fake contractions) in your back?? Now you know!) and many sleepless nights (try sleeping with a dumbbell taped to your belly), the last few weeks have been so fun. We decorated our house for Christmas for the first time, set up the nursery, attended a million baby prep classes, assembled all the baby gear (stroller, pack & play, bassinet, etc.), threw a housewarming party, and celebrated our two year anniversary.
Aaron and I constantly talk about how we have to actively not fear something terrible happening, because it all feels too good to be true right now. We are so in love, living in a house we adore with the cutest puppy ever, about to have a son, and have about 8 million other little things to be grateful for.
Not that a car break in is the worst thing in the world, but it definitely shook up our picture perfect life for a minute.
Last night, we went to see the new Star Wars movie with some friends. We drove separately since Aaron was coming straight from work, so he had the new car and I was in my trusty little Ford Fusion. Just this past weekend, we'd packed the new car with everything we need for the hospital, just in case! The car seat was installed, our hospital bag was packed, and the diaper bag was full of our favorite baby clothes for Baby L to wear in his first few days of life. The overachieving planner in me was feeling VERY proud of myself.
Too bad our diaper bag was pretty chic (thank you, Colleen!), so some car thieves mistook it for a purse. While we were inside the theatre making comparisons of Chewbacca to our dog, they busted in the back window of our new car, took only the diaper bag, and peaced out. I hope they enjoy nipple pads, diapers, and the cutest baby clothes known to man.
I've never had a car broken into before, so I was a bit shaken up. Seeing that shattered glass all over our perfect little carseat was a jarring juxtaposition. The innocence of that brand new carseat paired with jagged glass that represented the evil in this world was a lot for this hormonal mom to handle.
But ultimately, I had to be grateful. It could've been so much worse. Aaron could've been jumped when he got out of the car. The car could've been keyed, or full of much more expensive valuables. We could've put something on the bag with our home address on it, or not have had solid car insurance (we're so happy to have full glass coverage!). All in all, I just had to mourn the loss of the clothes I'd imagined Baby L coming home wearing. I'm sure once it's all said and done, I'll be cool with him coming home wearing a paper bag. Okay, or maybe I'm going to completely repack a new bag with one of the thousand other cute outfits people have given us.
I try not to focus on the negativity in life. I've unfollowed a LOT of people on social media whose posts are generally angry or angsty (do not mistake this for me not caring about the world around me-- I just don't find it healthy to be bombarded with negativity 24/7), spend active time in prayers of thanks instead of constant requests, and avoid a materialistic attitude at all costs. Living in a state of gratitude and happiness is part privilege, part perspective. The latter can be controlled, so that's where I focus my energy.
Again, I'm not blind or dismissive to the struggles of others or the ways I can be involved for the greater good of our community and country. And on a personal level, I've certainly experienced devastating valleys. The point is simply that on a daily basis, I like to rest in a place of contented peace whenever possible-- and it's been REALLY possible recently, so I've been enjoying the bliss!
This car break in was an unwelcome reminder of ugliness, but as I've processed it in the last 15 hours, I'm choosing not to be scared (I'm a big scaredy cat by nature) or angry or wish terrible things on the people/person who took my baby's first possessions. Being scared means only trusting God when everything in my life is perfect. Being angry only makes me feel terrible and doesn't accomplish anything. Wishing terrible things on the thieves takes the humanity out of the fact that they probably don't get to live in the blissful state I've been enjoying in this season of my life. I don't believe that any circumstance is an excuse for violent behavior of any kind, but how lucky am I that I live such a happy life that stealing from other people just feels entirely foreign to me?
With such a minor issue as some broken glass and a lost diaper bag, it's somewhat easy for me to keep moving forward with my life. But I've had to really think about what this disturbance would've meant if it was something much, much worse. What if something happened to Aaron or our baby? What if we lost a whole lot more than an infant duffle coat with soft matching pants? Staying positive would be a whole lot harder, that's for sure.
So my intent is for this minor setback to lead me to pray for surrender even if/when things get a lot more painful in life. I have to remember back to experiencing my mom's death and keep in mind that God is good ALL the time.
If you are having a rough season of life right now-- far more difficult than a little blip like a car break in-- I hope you, too, can keep praying for positivity and strength to see the beauty in the world amidst the darkness. And for those of you like me, currently living a charmed existence, I hope this post helps you remember to deeply enjoy it while always preparing your hearts to remain soft in the face of tribulations that may hit out of nowhere. Let the innocence of the carseat still shine through and bring joy into our lives instead of focusing on the broken glass that tries to take distract us from the good. <3